A reflection on contrast, creativity, and what we chase in the dark

In the lead-up to my trip to Indonesia, I found myself rewatching an old episode of Parts Unknown, Anthony Bourdain’s visit to Bali. As always, his way of capturing people and place felt intimate, visceral, and beautifully unscripted.

But what stayed with me most was his conversation with a local dalang, a master of shadow puppetry. Bourdain described the puppet master not just as an entertainer, but as a social commentator and philosopher. Someone who reveals truth through illusion.

It struck a chord.

Days later, wandering through a vibrant market in Bali, I stumbled across a corner filled with traditional wayang kulit shadow puppets. I hadn’t managed to see a live show, but I felt compelled to bring one home. Ornate and handmade, the puppet was a tangible reminder of the message I had felt so strongly while watching that episode:

There is no light without shadow.

Shadow Values and the Stories We Tell

As a mindset and purpose coach, one of the most powerful tools I use is Shadow Values®, originally developed by my mentor Benjamin J Harvey, a process of uncovering the hidden drivers behind our most persistent habits, emotional triggers, and patterns of burnout.

Shadow values are the parts of us we unconsciously strive to satisfy, even when they contradict our conscious values. They often stem from childhood, social conditioning, trauma, perceived lack, or in some cases, a desire to rebel. Left unchecked, they run the show from behind the screen, much like the dalang.

You might say your highest value is peace
But if your shadow value is control, you’ll seek peace only when you can orchestrate every outcome.

You might say you value impact
But if your shadow value is recognition, you’ll work yourself into the ground for applause that never truly satisfies.

Like shadow puppets, these forces remain invisible until the light is placed just right. And when we don’t examine what’s really driving us, we risk performing lives that aren’t ours.

The truth is, once you discover it, it makes you giggle and it no longer holds the power over you. We are able to harness your shadow value to get the results you actually want, rather than letting it sabotage you over and over again.

A Conversation With a Teacher Friend

Recently, a teacher friend told me he was considering applying for a leadership role. We talked it through, not from a place of ambition, but from a place of alignment. I asked him:

“What are you hoping that promotion will give you
And is there a chance you could find that outside of work?”

He paused.

Fulfilment. Creativity. Recognition. Contribution.

All valid. All human.

But what if the promotion came with a tiny pay rise and a truckload more stress? What if it pulled him even further from the work that lights him up?

We don’t always need more to feel fulfilled. Sometimes, we need to stop and ask what part of us is hungry, and why.

Without Darkness, There Is No Light

Bourdain was right. The dalang isn’t just a storyteller, they’re a revealer. They understand that truth needs contrast. Light and shadow must co-exist.

And isn’t that what we’re all doing in our own way

• Navigating between light and dark
• Between what we show and what we suppress
• Between the story we perform and the truth that lives underneath

But here’s the thing: the darkness isn’t the enemy.

In both art and life, it’s the contrast that creates meaning. Without darkness, there is no light. Without tension, no release. Without shadow, no depth.

What Are You Really Chasing

When was the last time you asked yourself:

• What’s truly driving me
• Who am I trying to prove something to
• What do I actually want

This isn’t about self-blame. It’s about self-compassionate curiosity.

When we bring light to our shadows, we regain authorship over our story. We stop working ourselves into the ground for goals that don’t belong to us. We make space for joy, for integrity, for presence.

We step out from behind the screen.

Final Thought

The puppet I brought home now sits in my office, a reminder that both the dark and the light have a role to play. That we all have shadow values. That creativity, purpose, and wellbeing aren’t found in the spotlight, but in the conscious interplay between what’s hidden and what we choose to reveal.

And that when we align with what really matters, the ripple effect of our choices becomes beautifully, unapologetically ours.